Birthday wishes

I remember when my birthdays consisted of cake, ice cream, snow storms and parties when I was little.  I remember when my birthdays consisted of going out with my girlfriends, having drinks and dancing the night away when I grew older.  My, have times changed!  Yesterday my birthday consisted of huge crocodile tears, emotional breakdowns, the pediatrician's office and a lot of worry. 

Hayden was showing signs of being in some pretty bad pain which I was associating with bad gas.  I did some research online and noticed that she had a lot of the symptoms of reflux.  By yesterday morning, my heart could not handle hearing her cry in pain after every feeding.  T woke up finding me in tears on the couch holding her.  That emotional meltdown continued periodically throughout the day.

T called the pediatrician's office and they were happy to squeeze us in - we barely had time to shower and get Hayden ready.  The doc confirmed that her symptoms were textbook reflux and prescribed a Zantac-type medication that she will need to take twice a day.  Her weight was a little under where "they" like it to be at her two week appointment - 7 lbs 11 oz - 3 oz less than her birth weight.  But the doc wasn't all too concerned with it saying that she has seen babies at much less than their birth weight than that.  T and I were thinking that maybe she will be tall and thin! 

In the meantime, she will be taking her meds and, hopefully, feeding more to help her gain the weight she needs to.  After we got home yesterday, I made sure to wake her every two hours to eat...she would only eat about 10 minutes on one side but at least it was something.  We continued this throughout the night.  She actually woke me up every two hours or so and would take another 10 minute feeding.  My girls are aching with milk that isn't being used but I can't force her to eat more than she is hungry for.  Hopefully, as the medicine kicks in a bit more, she will gain her appetite back and we can get her eating more at each sitting.

The doc told us to keep Hayden upright 30 minutes after feeding and to let her sleep on an incline - like in her bouncy seat.  So we both slept in the living room last night.  That allowed her to sleep peacefully in her bouncy seat while I slept on the couch - much more comfortable than sleeping on the floor in her room.

Although my birthday was a very stressful and emotional day for me, there is one thing that is for sure.  I couldn't ask for a better gift than Hayden.  She is such a trooper.  Two weeks old with, what is equivalent to, adult heartburn.  She doesn't understand this pain and she doesn't understand when I tell her it will be ok.  She just knows that she hasn't experienced it before.  I wonder if she remembers how much easier it was when she was tucked inside of me - back when there weren't two big people sticking a syringe in her mouth and squirting foul tasting meds in her.  But she continues to be sweet, aware of her surroundings and happy.  I am so proud that she is mine! 

Today I may venture out on my own to get my nails done and, maybe, look for a few more newborn sized clothes for Hayden.  This will be my first time away from her since she arrived.  And my first time driving since then.  T said he would watch her while I was out but I am a little worried about if she needs to eat while I am gone.  But I am going to try and feed her really well before I head out so that she will be good and topped off for a couple of hours.  I am also hoping to get these Christmas decorations down today.  As much as I love Christmas, I am tired of looking at the decorations!  I usually have them down on New Year's Day so I am feeling way behind on this task.

Tomorrow will mark Hayden's two weeks out in the real world.  In a way it feels like it has been two years and, in others, it feels like it has flown by.  Two more weeks and I can start pumping!  I am looking forward to that!  Having bottles prepared will help me be able to do things for myself and not be attached to Hayden via boob every couple of hours.  I am hoping to get back to the gym at that point not to mention T and I wanting to have a date night (or more than "a").  So bring on the pump!!

I am going to try and get some more sleep before she wakes up again so I will sign off for now.  Stay tuned for a two week pic tomorrow of my sweetest pea.